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Comment by ctvo | Hacker News Reader

> It seems like we've failed a whole generation of adults with good examples of what a relationship should be like.

... the good examples are like your relationship I assume?

In some cultures parents are number 1, and the expectation is your elderly parents outrank your wife in terms of the devotion and love you should show them. Is that disrespectful too, or does it only apply to close friends?

Who are you to judge here?

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well the parent to child relationship is not a procreative one. New family units have to form that are procreative or that society will eventually crumble. So it’s not simply subjective. The marriage relationship is procreative and a bedrock for society. I don’t think a society having greater / lesser deference to parents as authority figures takes away from that reality. The parents themselves are in a procreative relationship, and are matriarchs and patriarchs to their line. And clearly the cultures that demand “more” love to parents than a spouse, do not (cannot rightly) demand intimate love. So I would question what “more” love is.

Why would monogamous relationships be better for society from your perspective? Shouldn't you be arguing that marriage is holding our "new family unit" generation back?

Well after procreation comes child rearing. We don’t abandon human children to the wild.

I don’t believe the benefits of monogamous marriage are simply cultural. One would have to pose a better ideal for generating and raising children (because nurturing the next generation is a key part of societal survival) that leads to human flourishing. Is it polygamy, or casual hookups, or absentee fathers?

That said I do think there is more to the marriage relationship than procreation. That 2 people are becoming one. With that comes life long friendship bound by a vow that weathers the storms of life, close intimacy etc.

parent to child relationship is not a procreative one

How so? Are you certain that your parents have no genetic interest in helping you and your offspring thrive?

In the sense that there is no non-incestual physical relationship where a parent can generate new offspring with their own offspring

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