This is so true that people who do not have kids cannot understand how much it affects every aspect of your life; if your friends are not also in the settling down and having kids portion of their life, you will inevitably drift apart (not saying you won't remain friends, but you will go from not having to work at it to having to consciously schedule "play dates" if you will).

And you will find you have new friends unrelated to your interests and driven by your children; because you will be at the park watching them play with their friends and end up being friendly with the other parents.

Ha ... recently single with two young kids. I find it actually easier to raise them (admittedly only every other week).

No more arguments about "who's turn is it to put them in bed", "why do I always have to do this" etc ... They may seem like simple questions that can easily be answered but it's really quite complex: "Had a tough day at work, could you do it?", which leads to score keeping and different views on what's a "tough" day.

Now I know I have to do 100% of it. I prefer that than to argue about it, clash over differences on how kids should be raised etc

Honestly, the way average people with an otherwise good life have to pay 150$ an hour to a therapist to help them sort out who's turn it is to do the laundry is nothing short of depressing. Try explain that to say, a rice farmer in Vietnam.

And yeah, it's not actually about the laundry but a power play between the mom & dad but that doesn't make it less depressing and certainly not easier to solve.

So true, but I had to actually go over the process to fully realize this.

They take over everything in life, work, hobbies, passions, sleep. Its so god damned hard to raise them, yet extremely rewarding. There is really me before kids and a different person afterwards, envying the previous guy all the freedom and cool stuff he did, but not really wanting to switch place.

The thing is, they eventually leave the life to forge their own path, maybe a bit and maybe almost completely moving away, while partner and friends are for longer and closer.

You are talking past me.

Kids are not the center of my life.

We all have our own interests and goals. That includes kids, too. Get used to it.