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Comment by Benjamin_Dobell | Hacker News Reader

I don't know that I would describe it the same way, but I definitely experienced some sort of survival mode last month, when I (a software engineer) delivered my daughter at home, in a very much unplanned fashion.

I can remember the exact moment where I realised it was impossible to get my wife to hospital (we'd actually just been there and they sent us home). Something flicked, and it was just "Well, this is happening." I wouldn't describe myself as calm — but I definitely knew I had a responsibility and I was just going to do it. Of course, I was on the phone to the ambulance and following instructions.

Only a month later, I remember the experience in general, but aside from the moment described above, the rest of the details are pretty hazy. Fortunately, my daughter was/is fine.

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When your boss said "deliver more", I don't think that's what they had in mind

(congratulations!)

You should read "the molecule of more". What you describe happens when dopaminergic circuits take control of the brain and prevent other circuits from interfering.

Why did they send you home if you were so close to childbirth?

Medical professionals ability to ignore, belittle, and misdiagnose women is unfortunately legendary.

Also, labour can occur surprisingly quickly, as happened to a friend of ours who gave birth on our driveway whilst dropping off their first child on the way to the hospital.

My mother recalls hearing doctors saying she was too calm to deliver on the day I was born.

By the time it was clear I was on the way it was too late to administer anesthesia.

But it was not the doctor’s pain to feel.

Probably by mistake. Every childbirth is different. Mostly things progress slowly, sometimes it happens quickly.

Usually they measure the regularity and intensity of the contractions. If the contractions are short and far between, the hospital will send the mother home, because it will probably be several hours before the child comes. However, some childbirths don't follow these rules.

It’s common to bring women in early labour in then send them home for a bit to wait it out until contractions become more frequent. At least, here in the UK that’s common. Idea is better to be more relaxed while the body does its thing.

As if a woman in labor could ever possibly be 'more relaxed'!

This is a thing! Lots of things can “stall” contractions, prolonging the already long and drawn out process that opens up a woman so that she can pass a child through an opening normally no larger than a pipet. Lights, beeping, iv’s, etc.

I think we have a difference of the definition of 'relaxed' in this case.

A normal definition would be along the lines of sipping mai-tais on the beach.

But in the case of active labor, then yes, you're correct. I have close family members that are quite familiar with stalled labor (30+ hours). However, in that particular case, it was due to really bad doctors.

sometimes women go too early (cervix not dilated a certain amount yet, contractions are too far apart) and the hospital doesn't want to occupy a bed for someone who might still be a full day away from active labor

I just wonder why giving birth in the hospital is so normalized; if there's no warning signs during pregnancy or close to birth, wouldn't it be better for everyone involved (mother, child, health care system) to deliver at home? No emergency / stressful trip to the hospital, no roadside / parking lot births, no stress of being in a foreign environment, and you still get taken care of at home by a rotation of midwives.

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