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Comment by tpmx | Hacker News Reader

Speaking of Brits and Swedes:

A stereotypical antipattern:

1. A Swedish girl and a British guy meet and start living together in Sweden. (Yes, somehow, it tends to be that gender config.)

2. Since "everyone in Sweden" speak at least a little English, the guy doesn't bother learning Swedish.

3. The British guy can't get a job since he doesn't speak Swedish.

4. The British guy gets bitter and starts posting in the forums at thelocal.se, (run by bitter UK socialists who went through the same thing and are now super angry at Sweden).

5. The couple breaks up, hopefully before having kids together.

6. ...

Culture clash is real.

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The issue here is point #2. We Brits already have a cultural apathy for learning other languages. And as you have said theres enough proficiency in English in Sweeden, that combines to make it easy for English speakers to take the easy option.

I don't understand how you can truly live in a country without speaking the language.

It's likely not just the English speakers - assuming this is the same way as it is in Norway - even if you tried to learn the language, you'll still struggle with the native speakers "just using English as it's more efficient with both being proficient". I witnessed this in the workplace, and I heard plenty of anecdotes from the local college where PhD students struggling with learning Norwegian for the same reason, and last but not least I've done this myself.

I moved to Sweden from the Netherlands - i.e. another Germanic-language country just like (most of) the U.K. - and learned Swedish quite rapidly. I may use a non-Swedish word every now and then for something for which I do not know a Swedish term or where the Swedish term does not cover the concept I'm trying to convey but I do not "just use English" other than with my (Swedish) wife [1] which makes it far easier to join ongoing conversations without causing a stir by using English. Sure, most people speak passable English here but breaking into a conversation in Swedish using another language does tend to break the flow and changes the discourse.

[1] I'm Dutch, she's Swedish/French, when we met she lived in the U.K. and did/does not speak a word of Dutch nor did I speak any Swedish. I learned Swedish by myself but hardly ever use it at home other than when my children have friends over - I speak English with my wife, Dutch with my children and Swedish with the rest. Both children went/go to a French school to make the picture complete.

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