A path to niche skill-sets and community

I don't know. When OP describes their community of "furry queer hackers," I can't help but notice that the link to the autism spectrum goes overlooked. While it's very good to find one's people, it's dangerous to define yourself by these kinds of online personas. Autistic people tend to be drawn to and identify with cartoons, animals, and exaggerated displays of emotion — from deficits in the subtler forms of empathy or theory of mind, I don't know. Combine this sometimes highly visible trait with their (our) tendency to obsess and dominate online conversations and it's not hard to see why outsiders are uninterested in paying a visit to the deeper end of autistic-coded fandom where furries, anime fans, and children's media obsessives collect. I'm cishet autistic but I knew a lot of "furry queer hacker" types online when I was a teenager. I think that autistic people are uniquely vulnerable to over-identification with their online disguises; replacing human connections with pseudonymous communities that don't ask too much of them. I'm not telling OP to touch grass or whatever, because I don't know OP, but maybe this will resonate with someone.

Works both ways though. If you bring your identity into something irrelevant I'm gonna assume it's because you don't know what you're doing.

I'm not saying that people should judge by profile pic or website colour. But I see my peers who spend most of their time at diversity events, winning 'diversity awards' getting promoted over people like me, who are doing the actual work.

Am female, bi, neurodiverse but none of that is my entire identity so much that I need to plaster it everywhere.

I’m not in any minority I think. but I hope one day I will join the technical ranks of the awesome hackers mentioned in this post.