> losing that green status means HR will be asking you to leave or sending you a box for your equipment by the end of the day

I genuinely never had that fear in any of the places I worked at (or heard of one!). If that is a cause for termination or being written up, I'd probably look for some place else.

> Fake meetings are fine until it is discovered you did a fake meeting

My meetings are titled "focus time". It’s purely there to communicate to other team members why I may be unavailable during those time. If people need me during that time, they just ask me beforehand and I’m happy to oblige.