Can we please stop referring to adult women (in a professional context, no less) as girls?
As to why the article does not use the word boy:
1. As I said, such terms are usually used as endearment, for the group you belong to. Phrases like "Us girls can program, too", or "Boys, let's go get this YC interview" are common and you cannot replace women and men in these contexts. I think the OP was using girl in this sense in her post.
2. The correct counterpart to the use of girl seems to be guy (although there are phrases like "old boy's network", etc.) mainly, I think, because of alliteration. Some opponents to sexist language are offended by guy, too.
To reiterate my point, as hackers let us think about and then act rather than regurgitate rules that may be dictated by others. Let us not do simple string matching for offensive words but set our regular expressions wide to check the context that words are being used.
P.S. An interesting parallel to this discussion would be the debate on the use of the N-word, which is considered taboo by many but used by others freely.
But again, I think it's frankly weird that when someone makes a request for consensus you start talking about "rules" that are "dictated" that "ban" speech. Would you call a co-worker who was older than you "mum"? Probably not. Are you "banned" from doing so? No. Was that a "rule" that was "dictated"? No.
I'll just point this out:
The words "boy" and "girl" are usually used for endearment The correct counterpart to the use of girl seems to be guy
From my point of view (and I don't mean this insultingly--I have felt almost identically and it wasn't out of malice), your concern to not be dictated to is not a resistance to authority but an (unconscious) attempt to perpetuate a sexist status quo.
I felt similarly that the original comment was not a request for consensus, but more of a loaded question implying that it's never ok to call an adult woman a girl (which is why I asked the OP to elaborate elsewhere in the thread).
Addressing an adult human using a child's label is condescending, period. I certainly don't appreciate being called a boy, and I haven't referred to a female colleague as a girl since I was in my teens. Further, if you haven't noticed the consistent way in which comments here have used the words men and girls then I think you're not reading very closely.
> ... invalidate my statement by dismissing me as hypersensitive
> Addressing an adult human using a child's label is condescending, period
> I certainly don't appreciate being called a boy ...
> comments here have used the words men and girls
1) She doesn't have much corporate experience yet, and is drawing conclusions based on her limited experience.
2) She's not in a position of authority... sexism really shows its ugly face when there are power differentials where the woman is on top.
3) She's not yet of an age where child bearing is typically discussed, once she hits her 30's she'll have to deal with this regardless if she wants to have children.
4) Just because you're female doesn't mean you arn't sexist.
As others have pointed out, it is a very small minority of problem people. However, they can have a very adverse affect on an individual woman and her career. Sexism is something we should all be actively aware of and do our best to counter when we see it. It only takes a few corrections (by a male colleagues) to address some of the more prevalent issues -- but you have to do it or the sexism will persist.
This article is really about talking to males at work about geeky stuff and that we don't have to feel so special. Regarding childbearing, all women in other industries have to do it too, and there doesn't seem to be MathTeacherLadies or groups talking about this kind of things. We are sitting in front of a computer all day long, like many other office jobs, and those other industries have male and female workers working in the same office too, why is IT so strange and special?
Sexism is a problem in workplaces across all industries, and I do, as most others, hope the occurrences of such horrid incidents will gradually disappear over time.
All I wanted to say in the article was, in IT, being male or female does not, and should not matter. At work, as a female, one CAN join in nice conversations with males. A female geek does not have to talk to a female geek about geeky things. That's the only thing. I did not intend to refer to sexism. It was not the original intent of the article. If I have offended you with my article, I sincerely apologise.
I'm specifically responding to the last paragraph in your post where you're characterizing PyLadies as a "strange female programmer group". I'm absolutely certain most members of PyLadies are quite comfortable "talking to guys". This isn't about inability of some women to work as a programmer in a male dominated hierarchy. This isn't about the vast majority of nerds in software development. It is about power dynamics that will impact your career.
Perhaps I.T. is "strange and special" for women because technologists, in general, tend to have more leverage with regard to management/owners than in other industries.
When other people offer "rules" like don't use this word, don't do this or that, think for yourself rather than taking hythloday's, clarevans' or my comments at face value: Why is it wrong to use girl, what are the causes of sexism in the workplace, what evidence or arguments do these people offer. For me, a big part of what separates hackers from the masses is this questioning of authority , curiosity, and thinking for ourselves. I wonderful book in this regard is Christopher Hitchens' Letters to a Contrarian.
</jedi_master_mode>
P.S. And do submit stories and comment more often on HN!
In your comment, you've painted a picture of the OP as a naive (if somewhat dimwitted, for not understanding life's basics) girl who doesn't have a child, not in a position of authority, etc. whereas in reality you don't know if these are true of her. The only thing she mentions in her post is that she's been in the "IT industry for a few years". For all I know, she may be married with two kids, leading a small project.
So, in chastising her for the sexism you perceived, you commit the same basic sin, your comment is very condescending. I would rather have a well-meaning colleague call me a girl, rather than having someone write this comment about me.
Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not uncommon on HN, people react to certain thing in such a way that on a more basic level invalidates their point. A recent example was the debate on reddit's removal of certain subreddits, where people, who normally are against censorship, SOPA, etc., were very pleased that some "pedos" now cannot get their fix. In many cases I think this happens (I'm not saying this applies to you, too) because people hold a bunch of attitudes without analyzing them to arrive at an axiomatic set of beliefs. The unexamined belief is not worth having.
And girl/boy are not quite analogous. "Boy" can be used in a belittling way, but it more often used in phrases like "one of the boys" to mean easy-going and fun: a positive statement about someone's ability to work in groups.
It's not an easy point: there's a few women I know who think that not using "girl" means that you think they are too old to be attractive. I think that often holds in both the US and the UK; it used to be true here in Germany, but I think calling a woman "Maedchen" in her workplace today is positively offensive.
I advise you not to call female colleagues girls in the office, and be sensitive outside the office. It's a good topic to raise in conversation.
I'm totally aware it's not always appropriate to use such terms.