Pushing through when no one cares

The energy is palpable, and I wouldn’t bet against someone that works this hard. That said, the mindset seems to fundamentally be about recognition and pleasing others versus being obsessed with solving a particular problem. I think it’s hard to break through if you don’t genuinely have an intrinsic orientation around the latter. If you care more about approval then you run more risk of cargo culting or doing things that sound good but don’t actually help your particular business at this point in time.

The recognition-driven founder is vulnerable to manipulation and eventually to losing the company. In the past that could come from over-raising, over spending (size of raise and number of people and press feeds the desire for recognition), VCs then have a blank check to change the leader at first signs of struggle etc. The healthier approach to this would focus on the customers and making the business successful with or without funding. PMF without funding is glorious and reason to go for funding at a much better valuation, or to wait out for better market environment. The people who need to care are you customers. Everyone else doesn’t matter. Especially when the moment you start advertising that you’ve raised money is the moment you wave a juicy steak at the face of your competitors and asking for them to come after your market.

I like the takeaway from the OA of "by default, nobody will care." and the life rubric of "regret minimization." I try to apply both in my own planning. I've done a lot of creative projects over the years, to varying success, and tried building a product startup or two. Overall my own biggest learnings have been:

1. marketing/advertising is king

2. fundraising/pitching is king

Why? because nobody cares, by default. Nobody even KNOWS about you or your new thing by default. And if, once knowing about it, they CLEARLY dont want it, THEN you should move on.

however:

3. minimize life regrets

4. persistence is crucial

So I still try doing what I think would make the world better, even if only by a little. But dayum it takes persistence! Because there is no (well, almost never) such thing as an overnight success.

For example, I've been building a new game [5], and I put the lion's share of my effort lately into, effectively, either pitching/advertising it, or getting feedback. Both at scale and in rapid cycles. Because if it never takes off then I should cut bait and eat the loss. But... in meantime MUST be persistent, must keep faith, and grind thru all the little slings and arrows of sheer human indifference.

Knowing when (if ever) to give up is a challenge... possibly a roll of the dice to "get right."

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5. Slartboz -- see my bio if curious

Every individual struggle is unique and personal, but if we zoom out, there seems to be an interesting emerging pattern in startup comms. I've recently seen many similar "public vulnerability" essays come from similar elite business school-graduated, McKinsey-trained, YC-backed, VC-funded young founders framing their experience as an "underdog". I'm genuinely curious about the origin of this style - they are almost pitch-perfect and frequently follow the same playbook echoing the "trauma essay" that overtook college applications in the last decade (eloquently and succinctly described by a practitioner at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyD0m7JXgjA).

+1 to connecting with other founders. Also tried coaching and it can’t quite compare to having casual conversations with others in the trenches

A fine article. Really appreciated the candor. However, the last bit here left me thinking:

> “ So, this is what I think about when I need to push through. I am at the right place because it minimizes future regrets.”

What is the point of it all? There is probably a reason that the “pursuit of happiness” resonates with people more than a saying such as “minimize future regrets.” I’m not saying the author is wrong - minimizing future regrets may indeed maximize long-term happiness - but I can’t help but feel a little bit of hollowness in the proclamation “minimize future regrets.” But if I’m honest with myself, this may be a projection of my negative mood as I deal with a major current regret (divorce). So maybe there’s something to this idea after all?

I suppose my point is that avoiding pain or regret, while perhaps a necessary precondition, is not necessarily the same as the pursuit of happiness or the pursuit of a meaningful life or life well lived.

I appreciate the honest description of what it feels like to do something where nobody cares. With all the glamour surrounding successful startups, it’s easy to think your journey will feel like a movie montage followed by rewards relatively quickly. In reality it’s usually lonely and quiet, and you have to figure out how to keep yourself going to build something meaningful.

Not my world, but is github stars a business metric of something?