Woah. Thanks for the kind words! Mostly, I just want to be able to say I understand how things are working. Like memory and data structures. Once I grok that I think I would feel much more comfortable. I want to know all of those tricky things so I can forget about them safely.
Also, I was just reading hacker and painters (the book) over dinner tonight. I forced the kids in my clojure class to read bipolar lisp programmer for homework. Excellent, excellent essays.