My dad had a stutter as a kid.

When he was playing tennis, the kid across the court was mocking my dads stutter. At some point my dad lost it, jumped the net and started beating the shit out of the kid. While he was on top of him, my dad was “mocking” the other kid by talking how he talked… turns out the kid didn’t have a stutter.

My dad never had a stutter again.

Have you done deeper psychological work to explore what is going on with you when you were 9? Transpersonal work? I’m a coach and would be happy to have a gifted session with you to explore if any of our tools can help.