This is my takeaway, having had AirPods for several years. I've never once had the Find My feature work as expected, either showing me the location of the AirPods or successfully playing the sound, even as I stand right next to them staring at the case.

Find My works incredibly well for AirTags so I hope that some day they just take an AirTag and stick it inside an AirPods case and call it a day.

No, the moral is that if you’re indecisive, you can write a long-winded anecdote of it that doesn’t really go anywhere. ;)