For thumbnails, ask and ye shall receive -- Clickbait Remover for Youtube:

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/clickbait-remover-...

Further discussion on HN:

https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Anews.ycombinator.com+...

I use Procrastination Free YouTube. It has settings to customize YouTube so that you don't see any suggestions at all. If i need to watch a video, I have to search for it. In order to not miss Videos from people i want to follow, I use NewPipe on my phone.

But how will you know what to click on without a goofy face with a shocked expression?

Use BlockTube to block any channel that uses clickbait thumbnails. That's what I do. I don't care if "but their content is calm and good", if they use clickbait thumbnails they lose all views from me forever. There's no shortage of channels on youtube that don't do that, so there's no reason to tolerate the ones who do.