I need a source for "lapsed mormon". It doesn't seem like something that the author should just be coming up with to describe her. Google turns up little.
There's this which has the term but doesn't say if she identified that way: https://www.forbes.com/2009/05/06/mom-advice-bloggers-techno...
See also:
I did quitmormon as well, back in 2017. I actually regretted it and was even mad at quitmormon for a time for making it so easy, but I've been at a place where I no longer regret it for a couple of years. And I guess that is where I feel betrayed by the church. If not for Prop 8 and the 2015 policy and the more extreme tax dodges I could have a more relaxed take on it. I still do have a relaxed take on Mormonism.
> Armstrong was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but left the religion years ago.
I suppose my question is, why is it relevant to mention at all? Is it because Mormonism is less of a "mainstream" religion, so it deserves more mention than "former Catholic" or "lapsed Protestant"?
> She used to write a lot about leaving Mormonism and was very critical of it.
What you wrote is clearer, simpler and gives me a more accurate image.
At a basic level, you have to send a notarized letter to the corporation that owns the trademark "the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" (a virtual theocracy in Utah) demanding they remove you from their records. (cf: quitmormon.com)
At a human level, the congregations are geographically based with intense community defined within a geography and effectively-dead treatment to people outside the geography.
My parent's area has been a growth area for Utah Mormon transplants for years, so their congregation has split and moved several times. At a recent funeral for an old Boy Scout leader of mine, they remarked on how many people they hadn't seen in over a decade due to the congregation splits. I was frankly amazed -- dozens of these folks they were pointing out had been regular visitors to our home during my school years! To me it seemed strange that folks lived 10 minutes down the road, were great friends, camped together, shopped together, etc. but as soon as an imaginary line changed their friendship came to an end.
Now, when someone _willingly_ leaves Mormonism, it's often the case that their family shuns them, mistreats them, and otherwise reacts in fear and loathing, because it both signals to the intense social group that the family has failed to stay Mormon together and is a threat that makes people wonder why someone might leave. Source: personal experience, spouse experience, observed experience, reddit's mormon and exmormon subreddits.
When I left Mormonism, as a courtesy I let people know in a social media post. I received about 500 personal messages from people I knew. 90% were vilifying -- my own mother calling me "so smart it made me stupid", a uniquely East Texan insult I've come to learn -- 9% were interested, of which 8 out of 10 of those people eventually left themselves and with their families.
At the funeral I mentioned earlier, I was effectively a persona non grata. That's okay. I wasn't there for me. I was there to remember and honor a sweet man, one of the few who reached out then and later with compassion and tolerance despite not agreeing with my choice.
I believe there are a few other high-demand religions with similar institutional failings preventing freedom of thought and association, but I'll not call those out here, simply note that this isn't a unique phenomenon to Mormonism nor is it ubiquitous to religion generally.
"My friend Ashley was in charge of organizing the event and asked if I’d speak knowing that I had my name removed from the church rolls earlier this year."
"Lapsed" means left the church.
"Removed from church rolls" means left the church
GP seems to be making an argument for linguistic neutrality, that any term that means something is as good as any other term that means the same thing. The reply I linked expands on how the term "lapsed" is used, which shows that there are subtle differences in what it communicates...
"Lapsed" in my experience has a friendlier connotation than most other words we would to describe someone who no longer practices a religion.
Here we have someone who has not just stopped attending the church, but has chose to speak at events for others leaving the church, and took action to have her name removed from the rolls, etc.
So while some use "lapsed" to say "no longer actively practicing," and others reserve it for "having deliberately left"-- the nuances are immaterial. She fit all of these labels.
OK then, we're done here. Chao.
It might have been better to just say that directly... it would have saved everyone some time and energy, including you.
Unfortunately, we don't have an adjective for someone who is deliberately opposed to a religion in English that doesn't have an extremely negative connotation.
But yes, that is precisely why I don't use that term for myself. I didn't just drift away from the church, at first. Later on I drifted away from the lifestyle, but that was after I stopped going to church, and I stopped going to church because even after asking clergy and my family I couldn't resolve issues with my faith.
That doesn't seem to be the case.
Words such as "intelligent" and "wise" spring to mind, which aren't generally regarded as negative. ;)
Whether as a self description or used by others, it generally carries a connotation that having left the faith is a negative thing.
I agree that "former" is a more neutral term.