What is the situation with cartels? I like the idea of Mexico but tbf I'm terrified of even visiting for tourism because of the shooting/kidnapping stories. For example for the '24 eclipse I'm just sticking to Texas
Foreigners getting kidnapped is very uncommon. It happens from time to time, although it makes it to the news and they do try to find the kidnappers.
School shootings are extremely rare.
Same goes for the touristy areas like Cabo and Cancun - the cartels own them all and that's a legitimate source of real, clean income (and dollars) for the cartels, and the last thing they want to do is mess with that. The cartels have a vested interest in keeping the resort towns running as smoothly and crime-free as possible.
And as a rule, the State Department’s advisories tend to be incredibly conservative. Nobody wants to get hauled in front of Congress because something bad happened to a tourist in an area the State Department said was okay.
People who actually do business in Mexico have access to much more detailed and nuanced security advice.
When you visit a foreign country it is best to do your research. For instance, if you visit California and spend your vacation in Stockton or San Bernardino you should take some basic precautions that the natives already do. Some countries are honestly dangerous, but Mexico isn't bad for tourism unless you are actively seeking the more dangerous parts.
The major problems are when you start bringing your business into the country. That is a whole new kettle of fish. At that point you need to work the system to acquire a patronage network or work with established interests.
I'd be way more concerned with gangs as a business person than as a tourist though, but maybe I watched Breaking Bad and Saul too much.
Yucatan has a lower murder rate than most EU countries.
The worst I have had happen is a case of pickpocketing that happened to my GF. I would obviously not recommend going to areas that are known for issues. I also recommend doing the majority of traveling to other cities via airplane if you are worried about this sort of thing. I did take plenty of busses myself but I know some people are very paranoid/worried of what can happen.
CDMX, Yucatan, Oaxaca, and many of the frequently touristed areas are very safe. There has been increasing cartel activity in Riviera Maya (Cancun, Tulum, etc) with shootings between cartel members being more common, but AFAIK it hasn't gotten bad enough for people to feel unsafe.
It's a whole different story in the states of Tamaulipas, Sinaloa, Chihuahua, Colima, etc. There you have strong cartel presence and constant fighting.
However, even in those states you can probably be safe if you know which areas to stick to. When I visit home (I am from Juarez, Chihuahua), I don't feel unsafe, but I do stick to the "safe" areas. Moreover, in my city, most of the violent crime is just cartel-on-cartel shootings so I don't worry about petty crime or kidnappings or what not (this was not the case back in 2008).
There are states like Guanajuato where you have record numbers of homicides. But within the state you have Guanajuato city and San Miguel de Allende that are famous tourist destinations (beautiful places) and are remarkably safe.