On your last point, I think the key distinction is the number of people in the social circle.
On Twitter, it was the entire world. And if you wanted to hold the conch shell, you did what the algorithm wanted which was OUTRAGE.
On Mastodon, it's theoretically scoped down to just your server and a handful of deliberate federations. This exists. You can find these servers and have a BBS-like experience. Tooters give you the time of day and assholes are shown the door.
The Very Online folks, however, use Mastodon differently. For them it's more like "I'll build my own Twitter!" And what they want is more OUTRAGE feed to tap into 20 times a day, but with them in control of the algorithm. So they federate freely, with very large servers, making no material progress on the thing that makes Twitter unhealthy.
The fact that Mastodon can seemingly be used both ways is a good accomplishment. It's not the technology's fault the second use-case is socially toxic. But it does make it very hard to talk about Mastodon because you don't immediately know which way anyone is using it.