The sneaky thing about the geography of Kansas is that it's longitudinally exponentially-scaled, with distances between stuff (people, raindrops, ...) exponentially increasing as you go west. No one tells you this, though, so when you're in the western Kansas outpost of Hays, you're actually pretty close to the center of the state. You're almost to Colorado! Just stay awake and you'll be there in like 3 hours. It's OK, your mind is already dulled and your resting heart rate at refrigerator temps. Just... stay awa.... [snore sounds followed by the screech of broadsiding a barb-wire fence at 85 mph]