The pretty reasonable copium is that the differences you're focusing on are traits which exist in the DNA of every person you see, including ones that don't exhibit those traits. They're just expressions of a random/environmentally-determined subset of the DNA within everyone.

As anecdata, wait until you meet a girl from a broken family of alcoholic rednecks who live in the woods and find out that she can code circles around you despite growing up without anything you can call broadband. ;p