Free market economists are followers of a cult full of animistic creatures, like the "Free Market" and "Inflation", which have their own volition and just choose to "stick around" or "fairly distribute goods", without the need for absolutely no human to many any decision at all.

"This damned inflation is so sticky!" I imagine one of them complaining, while trying to wash it off their hands. "Yeah, if only Free Market could solve it," says the other, while praying the Corporate Profits to raise even more.