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Comment by snarf21 | Hacker News Reader

Most of us old timers have been there, done that. At some level, it never changes.

It is VERY difficult for work to provide your true meaning in life. 95% of software is personal preference. Most code will be thrown away when priorities change. Do the best you can and learn when you can. Management will always make poor decisions and are usually not interested in unfortunate truths. Work should only be what is required to gain money to pay for living.

The change has to be in you. Finding a hobby or raison dêtre makes waking up easy. Having something to look forward to is key. Once work is something to just finish changes everything. Respect your "you" time and turn off all notifications from work you can. Find something that does bring you joy and do that until it doesn't. Then search for a new thing. Too often we expect a brutal competitive job to also provide us peace and tranquility. They are best kept separated in my experience.

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Listen to this old timer. I'm only 32, but I've recently come to this conclusion as well around my career.

You have to be willing to let a job just be a job. No more, no less. Funnily enough, you'll often hear the same advice from older folks who own their own business. Even when the business is their own, they advise finding something else outside of the work to drive you.

The important thing is to have an invigorating activity you enjoy that is an outlet and not a chore. Work will always become a chore, that's why it's called work. Find that balance and you'll likely survive in the end.

This must be one of the best advices that I saw here!

I completely agree on letting a job just be a job. We are so much more than our work.

A phrase I was practicing a while ago was: "I am not my work, my family or my friends". I would repeat it a few times over and over. It helped me a lot to detach myself from my worries/expectations about work, friends and family.

I actually did a podcast on the exact same topic "You are not your Work, Family or Friends" that might be useful for someone: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5q1hAzjRCYkCEsLERvr1zE?si=Z...

I have to admit, at 40 a raison dêtre is still escaping from my grasp, even with family, work and hobbies.

Not sure if I'm going to find one for my whole life but whatever.

Is there way to help others in your life? Either by volunteering or via your hobbies? Selflessness is very cathartic in my experience.

You have a point. I'm actually thinking about it. Helping other people is probably the only thing that made me happy throughout life. Unlike others such as gaming that only keep me happy when I was younger.

For sure .. I've also found it helps if your hobbies involve others aren't solitary .. Even playing a MMO or FPS online is quite different than being in a board game group or kayak club .. Good luck!!!

To expand on the personal preference this part can be either a blessing or a curse depending on whether or not you are in a position to be able to force decisions in the codebase. It grinds my gears having to work with nitpickers but I am currently trapped in that kind of setting at my current job. It sucks.

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