This is critical to the discussion. In every industry you see people that live and breathe by their jobs, and why not. But especially in IT, there's this weird syndrome of "the revenge of the nerd" where many teenagers were nerdy and UNcool and now they're in tech and they can have big positions in big name companies and whatnot and it seems that working in Tech is the new metric for professional achievement.
And it's so easy to see the narrative as "only monomaniac nerds make it" because that's what we're told and what we hear. But the truth is, many more people are invisible because their work in tech is just a function/job/utility rather than a revenge over their own teenage years and/or a complete dedication.
I personally grew from the former category to the latter and I'm so much better in my life. YMMV as always.