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Bit like everyone’s code that’s used to train ChatGPT

No real world analogy applies when the service is publicly accessible via the internet.

If you leave a door open to your garden or house, can I come and chill without asking?

These analogies don't work. Sending a bunch of data to a computer and receiving a bunch of data in return is in no way analogous to physically entering private property without permission. They are not the same thing, or the same order of thing, or at all comparable.

The only "real" thing about either of those 2 cases is social conventions.

Is is entirely impossible to imagine a culture where walking unbidden into private property is very normal but pinging someone electronically without a common understanding is an intrusion?

An API is a publicly available service.

It's more like having a tap with a sign over it saying "free gas", then getting mad when people use it.

It's more like having "free gas for people staying at this motel".