Ask HN: Am I growing up too fast?

Take the internship. But don't take it for the pay, take it for the connections.

I'm also from the south and almost everyone I grew up with is still in my hometown, and something that wasn't clear to me when I was your age was how important connections are.

Now I'm older, live on the west coast, and I realize connections rule everything around me. While things have turned out pretty well, a lot would have been even easier if I had made connections at your age.

To give you an idea of the value here: If my current startup failed, I could call any one of a dozen people and have a job tomorrow. This kind of safety net is among the most valuable things I "own".

In addition to connections to jobs, you will also develop a lot of connections to expertise. I know and can call up guys who work in hugely diverse fields, from hard drive manufacturing to formal proof verification.

If nurtured, connections also compound just like any other investment. Keep up with the people you meet. You'll get opportunities and meet more people through them. You'll also make some great friends.

Obviously, you don't want to view people purely for the value they can provide you. Good people will see through this anyway. One of the best ways to build really deep industry connections is to try to become the guy that people value as having as their connection. This is where developing yourself comes in to play.

Another tip:

You're probably pretty bright, probably brighter than many of your peers, but almost no amount of precociousness can make up for real industry experience where the rubber meets the road. Take whatever level of humility you currently have and triple it.

I really appreciate the advice. I was probably going to take the internship anyways but it is nice to get some validation that I'm not making a bad mistake. The pay is definitely good but with large city living expenses I'd likely not be taking home any life changing amt of money. Looking at everything in terms of connections is an interesting perspective and it makes the decision a little bit easier. I'm sure I will fall on my face much more than I anticipate, but that's just part of it I guess :). Thanks

The right way to think about whatever amount of money you get from this internship beyond groceries and rent is that you should put it into experiences. Like you might think coming away from the internship with $10K in savings is a ton of money, but really once you start working as an engineer, assuming you are good about living within your means, $10K is nothing.

New graduates start at $150K/yr at a decent sized tech company and can get up to $500K/yr by 30 as a staff level engineer. The $10K you made in your internship is irrelevant to your finances at that point, so you should think about investing it in experiences. Throw the epic party, go on an awesome trip with friends, etc.

It sounds like you have a good family and support system so you don't have to worry too much about financial ruin even if you go broke somehow, this is a huge advantage that you should use. You don't get any awards for not using every advantage you have.

Feel free to email me (email in profile) if you want, I could go on for days about advice I'd give myself at your age.

It seems like Hacker News might be broken, since all of the top posts have like one or two points. Anyway, seems like a good opportunity to help someone out!

Everyone has their own value function in life, and it will change over time. My advice is generally to do what feels important. I wrote about this recently: https://sethkim.me/l/thesolutionspace/?postnum=7.

If the internship opportunity seems incredible, it probably feels important to do, right? And I'd imagine if the pay is really good, you'll be able to travel home a handful of times over the summer and spend time with family/friends. But if spending the whole summer with them feels more important than the internship, it probably is. It's your question to ask yourself, and answer honestly.

On the question of growing up too fast: you will most likely have to get a start on the career you think you want at some point, so the internship sounds like a smart move. I say "you think", because that's likely to change as well (sorry to say). Internships are a great way to dip your toe in the water of a number of career paths to start to figure that out.

Life is a great balancing act of doing what you have to do, should do, and want to do. Balance wisely, but don't forget to have fun along the way!

"Buy the ticket, take the ride" - Hunter S. Thompson

Home will still be there if things go south. This opportunity won't.