The Joy of an Empty Brain
wsj.com
wsj.com
Try it.
Eventually I hear you get some of that freedom back. But boy it's a long road.
Good for you for being able to enjoy life like that. Hello from the other side.
Besides, having children is rarely a very rational decision. You do it because "everyone does it". There's a strong biological and cultural pressure to have children. And if you have one child, there's a strong pressure to have a second one.
Anyway, I find it's really important to find a way to have "couple time", as well as "me time". Grandparents, if they're close and available, are a solution. My wife and I regularly take child-free trips and weekends. I also regularly take days off to have "me time" and work on my personal projects.
I know this might sound judgemental, and maybe this is because I'm an introvert, but I don't understand people who do everything with their wife and children.
Even than, the joy you get with your own kid can not be compared with anything you ever had before. The job is very tiring yet very fulfilling. Don't think it can be explained until you experience yourself.
Now we have books like "The Baby Decision" that really helps people think about this and envision what it looks like on both sides of the fence. Even the decision to have more than one kid wasn't really thought about. Because you have one, of course you're having at least another one.
None of this was the norm. Go ask some people older than 50 or 60 why they chose to have kids. I would bet a lot of them didn't really consider another option.
For example, moving to a city, and then being envious of those who have lots of space? Or moving to the country, and then being envious of those who have all of the stores on their doorstep?
I've had plenty of me time thinking on my own, but I think it's been better with my kids involved. More holistic thinking of life, home, family.
But you know what's funny? When I get one, I miss my kids!
It’s daunting, sure. When you can’t even remember what you ate for breakfast and you’re 12 loads of laundry behind, it’s hard to imagine just disengaging for any amount of time.
But if you’re scrupulous in how you allocate your time, you can find ways to do it.
It’s worth it, I promise.
(I don't get wanting to have one, especially the older I get so there's that ;-) )
Nitpick, but it seems that you just do whatever you feel, and not do nothing. In contract, Charles Bukowski had real do nothing days, where he just lied in bed, stared at the ceiling and listened to street noise.
When I was a kid I thought it was humorous self-deprecation. Now that I’m older I see it is a recipe for contentment.
I do this in small doses when I take my dog for a walk. After I get back I usually have the answer I was searching for without actively thinking about it.
There is a big incentive for this future as it will be the high point of advertisement. Every AI search, every AI written book, every AI produced TV show will have the incentive to sell you something. Without other sources of information people critical thinking will be impossible, anything that the AI generated content says is true. We can avoid this future, but I do not see any of the big companies caring about it, if anything they are salivating on future profits.
Your brain will not be empty but full of whatever the highest bidder wants you to believe.
so you're just describing propaganda and "grooming"/"conditioning".
I think the threat is overblown, unless one single entity ends up controlling all information. I highly doubt this is possible in the west - there's too much competition. But i guess if it does happen where one entity obtains a monopoly on information production and distribution, then yes, this might happen.
Tiger got to hunt.
Bird got to fly.
Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why?
Tiger got to sleep.
Bird got to land.
Man got to tell himself he understand.
Or as Blaise Pascal put it in Pensées:
>When I have occasionally set myself to consider the different distractions of men, the pains and perils to which they expose themselves at court or in war, whence arise so many quarrels, passions, bold and often bad ventures, etc., I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber.
BTW, it is enjoyable that HN conversations are vastly and noticeable superior to ChatGPT ;-)
I'd totally forgotten about Pensées. I really need to re-read it.
Second, animals are rarely at the top of the food chain, so they are structured for self-protection first and foremost. This means group dynamics rule over any individual needs. Each animal is expected to do its role in the group, no question of what’s “fair”.
Third, inability to communicate and find treatment when sick. When hurt or sick, they mostly just lay down and slowly fade away. How difficult would it be for us to face death in that way?
Could we nerdy say: animals has less controllers (one?) when humans has more (two? pure nature + new nature = powerful brain). And, also say that this two components conflict in the human?
Being nerdy++ I would say that humans needs a byzantine fault tolerance system. I don't know if we are there, probably we have a crash fault tolerance system or less?
It is Sunday.