Ask HN: How is your mental health? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How is your mental health?

29 pointsGalenErso27 comments

Mental health check. How is yours? Are you feeling happy? Anxious? Fearful? Indifferent? What would it take for you to feel better, realistically or unrealistically?

View on HN

Over 40, very nervous about the coming layoff. Also worried by not being debt free, not being able to find a new job quuckly, not being able to improve health in general, etc. Basically worrying about everything but should be fine eventually.

Good for like 10-15 days then I crash for like 2-5 days. The worst crash lasted almost two months.

Not sure what to do different.

The crashes are the worst because I get nothing done. Work/exercise/chores/etc. I just have zero motivation. I don’t even go outside.

Somehow that goes away and then for the next 10-15 days it’s crunch mode making up the lost time and then putting out like 5x the work I normally do. I’ll be more social my apartment will be super clean and organized. I’ll cook at home and dance even to music lmao. But then it all halts and it’s over and I’m just feeling like an earthworm who wants to burrow.

Are you me? I cycle exactly like this. I only work in burst mode as well. completely useless between bursts.

I feel stressed out when I’m getting nothing done, but can’t bring myself to do anything. I always manage to get a new wind and get it done somehow.

Suicidal. Was in the psych ward voluntarily for a few days recently. Got better, was discharged, but it’s getting worse again. Tried two different antidepressants without much success so far. Seeing a therapist for more than half a year, spent a ton of money on that. It only seems to get worse, increasingly certain that suicide is the only viable path.

Spent many years living in isolation. I thought that was what I wanted. I had so much social anxiety it was the only way to live I could imagine. But I’ve realized it was deeply unhealthy. I don’t really have any friends, although I am friendly with colleagues. Never had a romantic relationship. At this point, getting either seems insurmountable. Even just thinking about dating fills me with dread and suicidal thoughts.

I’ve heard all the advice: find a hobby, work on yourself, etc. Hearing that advice only makes my suicidal ideation more intense because I don’t see myself doing it.

I can’t live with who I am and I can’t be who I need to be to live. Seems like it’s only a matter of time before I jump in front of a train.

Please don't do that. You are valuable, even if you can't feel it right now.

You're very welcome to email hn@ycombinator.com if there might be anything we can do to help.

Your last statement about not being able to live with who you are really resonated with me. I’ve been there staring at the train tracks too. I never thought I would be there but there I was.

Have faith that it will turn around. You will find the answer to why you are unhappy. The only variable is when. I’m rooting for you and sending love your way.

Very satisfied, a few years from retirement, debt free and good salary, still in good health (mentally and physically). I think a key thing for me was realizing that I liked doing hands-on stuff at work and actively resisted getting promoted to positions I didn't want.

Generally happy. My work gives me a lot of free time to pursue my passions. Physical health is great because of that. Finances are in good order, family and friends are supportive, work is mostly good but could always be better.

I think finding a partner that is okay with my nerdy, quirky, but also active and knowledge seeking, environmental lifestyle would be great. I tend to be picky because of previous partners that deteriorated my mental health and became highly dependent on me, and would rather find happiness on my own and hope to find a partner that is already happy on their own as well. Which is hard to find but I'm not in any rush :)

Much better than last year, which is what I had been hoping for. There's still a ways to go, but it seems the worst is behind me, finally. It was a long and dark period with extremely crippling anxiety. Ironically, what helped most was to stop trying so hard to get better, but not letting myself go either. A very tricky balance to achieve that mainly hinges on your ability to talk to yourself in a kind, encouraging way. As someone who has an avid aversion to advice that seems to be superficial feel-good fluff I rejected the "be kind to yourself" concept for a while. Which, I realize, was my inner bully hijacking my logical brain making me believe I was doing something "right" by being cynical and unforgiving with myself.

I feel like I spend the entire pandemic, trying to understand my mind and my place in the world better. Than 2022 was the best year of my life, in all aspects except perhaps social one. Then towards the end of 2022 and now in 2023, I am trending back to a baseline, old mental issues are coming back to me. But overall I feel like I am such an huge improvement over myself.

I'm struggling getting back into what helped me throughout the pandemic (many, many walks, a lot of meditation, and journaling), but I am slowly getting there and I feel like I am rebounding on that growth mindset again. How great 2022 was, due all the work I put in the period before, is just how I would like life to be all the time.

Trialing medication for ADHD for the first time this week. Feeling hopeful. :)

I reckon I'm doing alright. Getting ready to move, job's going well, get to hang out with the boys on the weekends. Been worse, been better, but I can't complain.

Generally quite happy, but it kind of fluctuates with everything going on in the world right now. I think I have some attachment issues in my personal relationships; I've been trying to work on it on my own for years and I'm just not good enough to fix it myself. But I've finally started weekly therapy sessions and that's already been helping. Even just finally _doing it_ makes me feel like I'm on the right track.

Pretty good. Very happy with my job - not that previous ones were terrible, there were ups and downs, but current one comes very close to the peak. Otherwise got mostly enough of everything else I need.

There is a lot of doomerism nowadays about recession, AI supremacy, etc. but I don't listen to it too much for now while doing my thing to adapt. Limiting exposure to typical news outlets does wonders.

You?

2 weeks ago I would have said pretty bad. I was struggling to get over a relationship full of lies and emotional manipulation, but after 2 weeks off work I'm feeling good. They have no power over me now, my mind and thoughts are clear and focussed.

I spent much of the time cycling. I'd forgotten what a cure riding 2 wheels can be. Now I'm contemplating a motorbike...

I have ADD, OCD, Bi-Polar, Dyslexia… and not to mention that I am on the Autism spectrum.

https://css-tricks.com/hmtl-css-and-js-in-an-add-ocd-bi-pola...

Feel very stable, but a bit lost. I think I need something satisfying to live for. Working for a BigCo doing random coding, working out, etc... it's just not that satisfying. Ok im making money and my life is comfortable, but that's not a life goal.

Not great. I feel like I have a too-good-to-be-true remote job that I might get booted from and won't find anything close to it in terms of environment or salary. Still I have been "dropping the ball"...

Struggling with Bell's palsy right now that came out of nowhere, so my mental health is understandably suffering too.

Despite that, I'm thankful for the family and friends I have that support me no matter what.

This too shall pass.

Wishing you a speedy recovery!!

Highs and lows, but doing a lot better recently. Turned 30 and quit my PM job last year to start a mental health SaaS, haven't had an income since which made me feel like a loser vs my friends. I think it's best to just not compare yourself to other people as much as I had been doing.

On the bright side, we just got our first enterprise customer. Plus the app has helped me deal with self-doubt, since I don't have health insurance. Check out www.beta.joinjoyfully.com/onboarding (Hey HN Hive Mind, this still in-line with the OP's question.)

Best of luck to you on your venture!

The link doesn’t appear to work

Rapid decline

not great. turning 30, never had a girlfriend, zero social circle.

Hey, I'm also not doing "that well" in life, if you wanna talk, hit my email, it's on my profile. Wish you the best.

why is this happening to you?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com