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Comment by krobertson | Hacker News Reader

I work in SF, but live ~2.5 hours away by Stockton. Moving isn't an option, family is important and we have tons of family within 5 mins. However, the nice Ruby jobs are in SF. There are dev jobs in Sacramento, but it is mostly government stuff and not as attractive. Most interesting jobs are in startups, but most nearby startups want people in the office.

Though I am working on going out on my own, since I don't plan to keep the commute up long term.

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"we have tons of family within 5 mins."

You don't, your family is 2.5 hours away from where you spend most of your day.

I think it's quite hard to see the damage a commute like that is doing at the time, when you look back at it later you will wonder why you put up with it so long.

There is a difference between "we" and "you". Yes, I am not 5 mins away during the day, however my wife and kids are. In 4 years, we've never had to pay for a babysitter, we are very close with our families and see parents and nephews weekly. That would change if we moved further away for a shorter commute.

We could move close to SF, save maybe an hour or so commute each way, pay more for a smaller house, and then my kids no longer see their cousins and grandparents every weekend and we no longer get last minute babysitters.

Trust me, I analyzed my situation before and during this commute. It is very different from the outside looking in than when you are in the middle of it. And a few comments on a site like HN is missing a whole lot of context about a multi-faceted issue.

Being by your family when you have small kids is usually a good idea (unless you are one of those people who don't want their family around all the time). Your kids don't need babysitters and can see relatives all the time. Maybe the best solution is to accept a job that you don't like as much/doesn't pay as well until the kids are older.

Or try to find a way to work from home. Then you'd have it made.

Is there no way to work remotely a few days a week?

Exactly my suggestion. My commute is an hour each way but I work from home on Thursdays and will soon work from home on Tuesday as well. You should talk to your employer. They will most likely understand. If they don't, leave and go somewhere that will. It's a good time to be a Ruby developer in SF, so you have some leverage there.

I already do work from home 1-2 days a week, however the other days it is still a lot of time out of the day.

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