And in my experience, OP has it right.
1. Setting up the mail server is not the issue. It's the ongoing maintenance to ensure close to 100% uptime so you don't lose any mail. Having worked as a sysadmin maintaining linux boxes for several companies, mail server maintenance accounted for the vast majority of the hours we spent working on servers. This doesn't even account for the hardware upkeep to keep RAID sets in good shape, tape backups, etc.
2. There is simply no open source project that offers a UI anywhere close to as good as gmail. Yes, someone could take on that project, but it will be years before they achieve a similarly polished result.
3. Sure you could roll your own filtering that would be more effective than gmail's, for you. Again, this is further work that you have to do whereas gmail "just works".
4. SpamAssassin is one of the great open source projects in my opinion. Combined with ClamAV you can get a really robust solution that works fairly well. However (afaik) it lacks the learning heuristics that gmail's huge body of data can provide to keep even the newest template spam out of your inbox.
This is not to say that I don't agree with some of your points, but in my opinion the OP has a valid perspective, which I suspect many IT people who value their own time will share.