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Comment by capableweb | Hacker News Reader

I've talked with endless amount of people, people I know since before and people I don't know since before, and I don't think anyone (unless relevant to the discussion at hand) has asked me how much money I make, or who I'm sleeping with.

Maybe it's because I'm not 16 years old, or maybe it's because I don't frequent night clubs in hot metropolitan areas anymore, but that strikes me as very odd that most of the people you end up talking with bring up those two subjects.

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People dont ask these things directly ... asking what you do for a living is asking how much money you make.

> 16 years old

Back then they asked what your parents did for a living

I have a genuine interest to know what people do for a living, I don't really care about their paycheck.

I always find interesting how people try to tell how their jobs are interesting but in the end we all know it is boring as hell.

It's amazing how we are willing to do shit stuff so we can be able to pay our bills.

The most interesting of 'genuine interest to know what people do for a living' converstations I have had are with parents of late teen parents ... who want to guide their children towards careers or advice about careers (almost always includes - "there is good money in that" so the same rule applies all the same).

Haha yep. But if you have a business or plan to have one, it's good to know what people around you do, you never know.

Ahh question #3 steps up, and it is a sibling of #1 on the list: can I make money out of this person

I ruin my health and drain my soul by sitting in a chair all day for $200k a year. Not recommended.

Beats ruining your health and draining your soul by lifting heavy stuff at a construction site all day for $50k a year.

Is it though? The people I’ve met in construction across all spans of life are generally friendlier, healthier and happier than those working the desk jobs and earning more money.

In my experience, yeah. My friends who are pushing 50 and worked a life in construction (physical labor, not managers or working in a office) have really annoying pains in one place or another. I agree that they're generally friendly and perhaps happier, as their job doesn't seem to bleed into their life as much as for my friends who works in offices, but I'm pretty sure their bodies have taken a lot more pain over the years and it's coming back to haunt them as they grow older.

Me too. But what I earn is not even close to half of that.

Incredibly bizarre - I literally have zero idea what any of my friends or acquaintances parents did for work when I was a teenager. Parental occupation is simply not a topic of conversation among teenagers. Full stop.

Hmm...maybe it's generational? When I was a teenager (mid-80's) I knew what my friend's parents did for a living. It's not like we sat around and discussed it, but I could have told you what the majority of my friend's parents did for a living (including what company they worked for).

I was a teenager in the late 90s. I don't know how the subject of your parents jobs would come up in teenager conversation.

My dad is too lazy for work and I don't even know what job my mom did for a living before she retired. I mean, I knew the company she worked for, and that it was an office, but I don't know her job title or responsibilities. Why would I? Who the fuck talks to their kids about their work?

That’s definitely a personal bubble type of an answer.

No one I ever knew asked or cared about those types of questions.

If anyone's ever asked:

- what do you do?

- where do you live?

- are you married?

- have any kids?

They're asking about your money and your sex life.

Well, no, they are asking about what your life looks life and what fills it. It’s also subjects which open easy way to relate to someone: “we both have kids”, “we work in related fields/they work in the same field that someone I know”, “we both like this sport”, “we have been around/travelled to the same place”. That offers a wide breadth of conversation starters.

They are making small talk by asking anodyne questions.

If a stranger asks you “are you married and do you have kids?” and you respond by telling them about your sex life, they will end the conversation with you.

Oh ffs! No they're not! These questions are attempts to establish a connection to you - maybe you work in a similar field to them (or one that they find interesting), or grew up near to them, or have kids the same age.

Not at all. Those are valid questions. In some parts of Asia, those are the first questions you'll get, including your salary. You might as well get that out of the way from the start.

> the first questions you'll get, including your salary

How, exactly, is asking what your salary is not asking what your salary is?

I'm going to start saying: "Art Vandelay", Architect

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