Comment by Timon3 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by Timon3 | Hacker News Reader

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Same here, mindfulness is a great thing! Initially I had some troubles getting into it, because I always felt I had to wait for the right time to do it. But I've since learned a couple of techniques that can help you notice whether you're ruminating, and to then transition to a more mindful state. It's been a quality of life-improvement for me, maybe it helps somebody else:

- wear a small rubber band or something similar on your wrist. If you notice yourself ruminating, give yourself a little flick with it - the very slight pain signal pulls you into the here & now!

- designate a time and place to ruminate a bit when you feel the need, but have a timer running, and do something else afterwards. Controlled release in a way!

- generally, if you catch yourself ruminating, try to think of something indicating "STOP" or similar. Personally I imagine a big STOP road sign and also "shout" it in my internal voice.

It might sound silly, but after actively training for a few weeks you'll have much more freedom in your thoughts!

Just a heads up for anyone reading this, as a mindfulness coach I wouldn’t recommend this technique. The rubber band and “stop” voice are pretty harsh and rather we want to practice inner kindness and letting go.

Do you have an alternative recommendation for "strong" reminders?

"Counting five breaths" is a tool I got from some mindfulness resource. Focus on the breath as much as you can and count the exhales. When you get to five, begin again from one. Repeat until settled. If I'm fairly out-of-it, it may take me 10 repeats of counting five breaths to center myself. Sometimes it doesn't work at all.

Weird. Telling myself to stop works and doesn't feel harsh. It's possible to be kind and accepting and to recognize what's happening and give yourself boundaries. Being kind only goes so far if you literally don't stop ruminating. Telling myself to stop, that I've done enough ruminating, that these thoughts aren't going anywhere helpful and I can't change anything right now works far better than most other techniques I've tried. It's just another way of letting go.

Do you have medical credentials? "Coach" doesn't sound like it, but I don't want to presume. I've learned this from actual therapists, so I'll keep trusting their opinion until I see contrary data.

Interesting. I am definitely not a doctor. If you have medical advice to practice this technique, I would follow it.

I will say that I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for 7 years in various traditions and have never come across this technique. It also goes against the definition of mindfulness (paying attention to the present moment without judgement) as it is applying judgement to your thoughts.

I have experienced very difficult and dark periods of meditation when I was hard on myself for thinking, and learning to be very kind to myself in meditation was a huge step forward in my practice. Rather than “stop”, I say “thinking” to myself in a kind way.

I think I wrote my initial comment from a very different perspective, but we know how difficult it is to bring all this across in text :)

None of the techniques I described are meant to be judgemental. It's only about helping yourself passively recognize rumination. While it did them I never once felt I was being unkind to myself, since it's neither meant to hurt nor negatively judge. The "STOP" example is literally about picturing something, not about "screaming at yourself".

To get back to your initial points - you are definitely correct that you have to approach yourself with kindness, and if you feel that anything I described is unkind, you should find a way that works for you!

I think this is a great point about nuance and "what works for one person, at one point in time, may not always work."

For some the "rubber band" method may just be a silly reminder, but for others it could be a mild form of self harm. The same person may be in a very different emotional space from hour to hour or month to month.

The rubber band helps shift your focus back to your body. It can be an effective tool for people who struggle with anxiety. No need to judge it as being harsh or having a lack of kindness.

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