Hacker News Reader

Comment by interpol_p | Hacker News Reader

I get this from other parents.

A few years ago I let my 3 year old ride his bike with his older sister and brother (5 and 7 years old).

I walked with them, but allow them to get ahead of me, up to about 500m - 1km (~0.6mi). My instructions were always "wait at the next road so we can cross together."

Once, when they were out of sight for a while, I rounded the corner to find them surrounded by a concerned couple who proceeded to tell me off for allowing the youngest one out of my sight. I disagreed with them and continued to allow my youngest to ride many hundreds of times since. I got dirty looks from them a few times on subsequent walks.

View on HN

People need to let their kids out more, but common, a 3 year old at an intersection? That's not what this thread is about. Even in your story you were trying to supervise them and weren't far behind.

It IS what this thread is about. His 3yo was out of sight (not by much, and was accompanied by his older siblings), and that was enough to get some busybodies to criticize his parenting. It's part of the same problem: that in America today, parents are considered "neglectful" if their children are out of their sight for even a minute. Heck, parents have had CPS and police visits just for letting their kids play in their fenced-in back yards!

Again, the fact that he was actually just out of sight IS what makes this situation fine. Without this fact, putting the supervision responsibility of road safety of a 3-year-old solely on a 5 and 7-year-old is unfair to them all. But that isn't what happened, he was literally there. I think all parties seem reasonable in the scenario.

Supervision is not an all-or-nothing thing. When someone calls the cops on your 10 year-old climbing a tree in your front yard or the neighborhood woods (let alone in your fenced-in back yard), that is ridiculous. But, there is a problem when you equivocate a toddler on a public road and a grade-schooler playing outside. One is able to stumble into problems and solve them while building confidence--the other just learned it's name and how to put on their shoes and pedal the bike.

Like, all 3-year-olds are different, perhaps his was closer to 4. Perhaps they were developmentally way ahead of their peers. Perhaps this was the most rural quiet and safe road ever. But without knowing that extra stuff, I think it is reasonable to voice your concern after finding a 3 year old on a road without real supervision.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com