> Most of my roles have been through recommendations which short-circuited the typical tech interviews or was I hired by non-technical people who only cared about the output, so I have been fortunate in that regard.

If you realize that this approach leads to success, why are you trying to do things differently?

When you know of a path that leads to success, and you decide to not travel that path, you shouldn't be surprised when you find yourself on a path that doesn't lead to success.

You already know which path does. Talk to your therapist and try to figure out why you're choosing to not take that path.