You are a climate masochist. I recommend emotionally disengaging from topics that cause you grief and that you absolutely can not impact. The thought of personal CO2 emission reduction behavior having any kind of measurable impact on the climate is laughably naive.

I recently had to figure out the cheapest flights I could find to keep my star alliance frequent flier status, which I was at risk of losing because covid changed my business travel behavior. So in the end I was just visiting random European cities, sometimes with a connecting flight (I was keeping my status via flight segments).