I definitely appreciate the wish to treat people charitably!
In terms of the site guidelines, "You're missing the point" is kind of a swipe and so should probably be dropped; "willfully" should definitely have been dropped because it's making a claim about negative intent that one can't actually know and such claims always land as an attack on the other person; and the last sentence was snarky and should have been dropped.
If one makes a habit of editing such things out of one's comments, one's substantive point will come to the fore more clearly, which benefits everyone. But it's not always easy in the moment!