Ask HN: How to Overcome Feelings of Inadequacy? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How to Overcome Feelings of Inadequacy?

5 pointsNoOneNearMe15 comments

Hi, I've been a software engineer for about 4 years now, and I feel like I can't make any useful piece of software. I usually get stuck and take a while to make any meaningful progress.

For example; I tried making some programs around terrain generation in OpenGL, and was able to get something nice. However, it seems that there are so many people that did the same thing but way better. I saw a video of someone make a Minecraft terrain in 48 hours. And just today, saw a High-school student make a procedurally generated terrain for their game, which is way better than mine.

Seeing the successes of all these people brings me so much anxiety and prevents me from moving forward with projects I want to do. Does anyone else feel the same way, or know if anyway to get out of this mental trap?

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You sound pretty young. A lot of really cool things most people do happens later in life. The "teenager did blah blah" is causing you problems like watching other people's Instagram feeds for their vacations.. All you see is amazing stuff and miss all the crap people don't post. Seriously, you sound like my kids (Gen z) worry about everyone's else life.. It consumes them all. The answer in the end is get over yourself, shut off the videos, find something you want to do and keep doing it even if someone is doing it better. There's always someone doing it better. Just flip the asshole on the screen, say "fuck you!" out loud, and move on. Not kidding. Try flipping off the wunderkinds on your screen a few times, you'll feel better.

Oh, and you've just not found your niche yet, a lot of that comes with time. You keep giving up and being frustrated, so you just haven't found it yet.

Thanks for the reply, I do think you're right. I'm also GenZ, and thinking about others does consume my mental state more than I'd like. Maybe just shutting off the content consumption for a while is a good idea.

Yea I do think I haven't found my niche yet, I tend to read about a lot of different things, and hard to focus on one thing specifically. Thanks for the advice.

Do you have strengths in being able to pick up a concept/idea and be able to implement it at least to a functional prototype level?

If so, maybe you need to find someone who needs solutions built for them. Or to collaborate with them leading your progressions into a longer form solution!

Most importantly, don't measure your success against anyone but yourself, yesterday.

Yea I think I am usually able to make a functional prototype, just creating something that's actually all the way finished and great is a challenge.

Might be a good idea to find someone to help make things into a longer form solution, but I'm fairly introverted/shy, so that's always a challenge, but good advice!

I agree, but it's hard sometimes, you know? I for some reason can't help but compare, even though it does no good.

Thanks for the advice :D

> terrain generation in OpenGL

Well, sounds like pretty interesting thing to do, so rewarding in itself maybe. Is it published on github or elsewhere?

Also, as someone doing graphics programming mostly as a hobby, I think a good thing to do is to learn the artistic side of things (to some extent), might give you some advantage.

Thanks, yea I originally did it just because I thought it would be a nice change of pace from my day to day, and a fun way to learn C++. The code isn't really good so I avoided pushing it to github.

Yea the artistic side of things might be good to try, I do like the idea of exploring toon shading more.

Please let me recommend SideFX Houdini as an artistic (yet technical) tool to learn: https://www.sidefx.com (perhaps would be a kind of therapy in itself - it was for me long ago)

> exploring toon shading

Sounds excellent! And don't hesitate to publish your work.

Curious, is SideFX Houdini similar to Blender? Why use one versus the other, if you don't mind answering.

Well, to make an (imperfect) analogy with programming tools - Houdini is like Emacs, while Blender is more like Visual Studio.

That is not to say that one is intrinsically better than the other, but for a technically-minded person (== any programmer in this case), the way Houdini works will make much more sense.

Learning either of these tools is not an easy task, but I think that starting with Houdini will feel more natural in cases like yours (SE background, interest in interactive graphics).

You can email me (see my profile here) for some more Houdini-talk!

Are you working as a professional software engineer?

What do you really want to do?

Yea I am working as a professional backend software engineer. Started right after University.

For what I really want to do, I am not really sure anymore to be honest. There are jobs that I think would be very interesting and a nice change of pace, like Graphics Engineering, but I always end up thinking I'm too under qualified. I'm almost done my Masters in Computer Science, but still don't feel too qualified.

Okay so you are a professional and are getting paid to create, presumably, useful software.

In that case I would take some time, be loving and kind to yourself, enjoy life, and consider what you would really like to do. Learn about a bunch of different things.

Then, go gradually. Learn to take one small step at a time. Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, which has a lot of wisdom about this subject. The Tao Te Ching is another great example of literature on wisdom and patience.

If you doubt yourself and don’t want to, then you need to accumulate small victories consistently over a long period of time. Write down in one place all of the things that you have accomplished and keep adding to it all the time. Call it a brag journal if you will. Eventually the evidence will accumulate that you are capable of what you want to do.

Finally, I recommend therapy and professional coaching to really break through any underlying psychological barriers that you have e.g. pathological belief systems. My email is open if you want to talk further.

Yea I think your third paragraph about journaling accomplishments might do some good. Breaking through the mental barriers seem to be what I'm ultimately trying to accomplish.

I'll check out those books, I've heard a lot about Marcus Aurelius.

The key term you should research is “imposter syndrome.”

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