How you should think
The astute follower of mainstream media will sometimes notice rifts in the global narrative continuum. What was confidently touted for a year no longer seems to be true, and instead the ideas that we ridiculed endlessly seems likelier by the day. Is this an indication that we got it wrong? Of course not. Let us assure you that this is merely a temporary disruption and total consensus will be restored promptly. In particular, don’t be tempted to take this moment as an opportunity to exercise critical thinking. Remember: truths are always wrapped in complicated packaging, such as spooky “confidence levels”, which isn’t designed for layman consumption. Our most credentialed experts are working day and night to integrate these new discoveries into the narrative you all love and care for. Stay tuned.
Still, you may wonder how to make sense of such a world, with seemingly contradictory truths? Well, the only permanent cure is to not focus too much on truths and factoids, but rather subscribe to the narrative at large. It’s a lot easier than thinking for yourself, and much safer. Don’t let this wear you down though. Remember, the current truth is no more than a click away, for only $9.99/mo.