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Probably something along the lines of “if it quacks like a duck then it’s a duck”

Those aren't trees either.

They are, if they are made out of wood.

A witch! Burn her! Burn her!

Fortunately, we know much more about science than they did when the Monty Python movies were made.

And who will arbitrate disagreements?

There are billions of dollars of peanuts, fish, etc., being traded across the world every week.