Facebook offered me $1.2M base pay, $500k in options, and $220k in relocation -- for a Sr. Front End Dev position. I sit down. Mark himself walks in, looks me straight in the eye and says, "Honey, Honey". I'm like, "What the--"

That's when I woke up and my wife was telling me, "Honey, Honey, you're going to be late for work."