First thing I did was to reach out to my friends. It is really hard to have any kind of constructive perspective in such situations. That’s were the most trusted people are needed. If you don’t have too many close friends, and it may sound a bit desperate but stay with me, find anyone who seems friendly and is willing to listen. You can also do something creative. Trust your common sense what feels refreshing to you. What makes you lighter. Just find a way to share your feelings and emotions. If you want to feel better you can’t seethe in resentment. You can’t carry past this way. You have to learn what it is and how to put it aside.
The next big step for me was to realise that there are other women that I could like as much as my ex. It was very surprising to me that someone else could be as lovely as she. That I could like someone else. Or maybe even love. But to do that I needed to meet a lot of people and put myself out there. I reached out to my friends to spent time togheter, I went to festivals and try to shift from very closed social circle to meeting a lot of new ppl.
The last step (this is a big generalisation) was to realise that I want to be happy. That I want to make myself into a person that’s happy. I don’t want people or things to make me happy. I want to be able to do it on my own. I explored isha yoga, wim hof practices, read many books (I searched HN and Reddit for “books that changed your life” and read a few). I had set my priority to “I need to feel better before I will decide what to do next”. And it is nothing nice. I learnt a lot about my mistakes. I asked my friends to tell me all the brutal truths they can manage about myself. It was crashing. Crash after crash I disillusioned myself from what I thought was working pretty well in me. But every time, after a few days I felt… better? Like more honest about who I am right now and who I would like to be. And that there’s a difference I need to accept and start to work on.
It is a very brief summary. I hope it will be at least a little bit helpful to you or anyone. Let me know if I could help anyhow or answer any questions.