I’ve hit rock bottom a few times in my life. Once I was food insecure and another I was on short term disability for burnout. My latest period of strife is due to a traumatic death and a couple of near deaths of loved ones. I’ve done a ton of therapy, read self-help books, had executive coaching. What’s helped the most was deciding what I want my life to be, understanding the gap between here and there, then making incremental changes.

Regularly, throughout the day I remind myself that I am strong in my body. I am confident. I am a successful entrepreneur. Anytime a thought enters my brain stating otherwise, I pause and switch back to focusing on what I want.

What you focus on magnifies. You don’t have to believe every thought that enters your mind. You may feel empty in many moments, but I’m sure if you look hard you will find small moments throughout the day where you feel fulfilled like when you’re exercising. You also made it into a PhD program despite your dysfunctional upbringing. States of being are not binary so you don’t need to attach yourself to a state of emptiness and self-doubt. They can co-exist with other states of being.

It’s normal to feel stressed in a PhD program, especially toward the end. It’s also common for relationships to be impacted as graduate school is a transformative and demanding experience.

Keep going, keep your head up, and be kind to yourself. Replace self-doubt with self-compassion. There’s a new and exciting life waiting for you. By this time next year, this will all be behind you.