Is Hacker News Turing Complete?

Assume we have a news aggregator, N, and a comments section, C. --Let Q be any computable function. ---We can construct a program, P, that uses N and C to simulate Q as follows: 1) Parse news articles with N. 2) Use the comments section, C, to filter out irrelevant information. 3) Rely on smart commentators to provide input on how to manipulate the remaining data to generate an output that simulates Q. ---Since we could simulate any computable function with P, the system consisting of N and C is Turing complete

All we need is sharp commentators and some clean code snippets, and we could create a Turing-complete machine that can solve any computable problem I think.