Until then, I have a rule: I only tip when someone is working outside of regular working hours to act as my servant. That's like evening dinner service where someone is actually waiting my table. Sometimes I'll tip at lunch for pleasant service even though it breaks my rule because I'm human. And sometimes a dollar or two for coffee early in the morning or bar service at night out of habit.
I also have "tip bands" structured such that I tip at least 10% when de-facto expected. I tip $5 up to a $50 ticket, and $10 up to a $100 ticket, on the pre-tax and pre-other-fees price. My logic here is that if restaurants are supplementing wages with baked in fees, those fees should be deducted from the tip I'd otherwise have been expected to pay. So a standard 15% less a 4% surcharge post tax becomes 10% additional (tip). In any case, things average out such that I over-tip anyway, sigh.
I guess my latter point here is that I'm still made to feel guilty when tipping at least 10% because of how establishments suggest you should be considering 20%, 25% and 30% gratuities on top of all the fees they slip in at the end and taxes. It leaves me disillusioned with the entire notion.