Hacker News Reader

You really can't see this being down voted for the (all) dudes are pathetic part?;

That "all" is your own addition, not present in the comment I responded to.

Note that it was a man saying it. And I, also a man, agree: men who just send "Hey" to all women they can find are pathetic. It's a shitty, spammy way to behave on a dating site. It helps nobody.

Jeez, one usually has to do some bad things IRL to be called shitty spammy and pathetic, apparently all it takes online is saying “hey”. Doesn’t that seem a bit excessive for someone whose crime is not figuring out some rather subtle unwritten, untaught social rules?

If the result is that women end up swamped in these messages, then it is literally spammy. Sending everybody a "Hey" is no different from sending everybody any other sort of message, ad or otherwise, and calling that out is not excessive.

We used to all fight against spammers like the Spam King, because everybody suffered equally from that flood of unwanted messages. But because these minor spam lords only target women, it seems lots of men think it's not really a problem. If the people suffering from it think it's a problem, then it's a problem. And as far as I can tell, a lot of women on such dating sites do consider this a problem.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com