> If you're aphantasic as part of your ADHD - i.e. you don't have a well-developed mind's eye - which is likely
I actually do have a mind's eye, but I don't have the ability to focus on it whenever I want, or daydream whenever I want, without other mental distractions getting in the way. I developed it because I used it as an escape from reality.
Maybe I can't be entertained just by daydreaming, but I used to roleplay and write stories every day for years, using my mind's eye to visualize it and feel it with my other senses (not just vision). Like, I leaned heavily into that. That has always been my favorite thing to do. Because.... my IRL body would not listen to me, so being able to do things in my mind was endlessly valuable...
On dexedrine I can daydream for hours and control what happens. Because my mind's eye actually has the ability to entertain me in that state. But it's not particularly vivid (maybe it's not so well-developed after all?) which is one reason why I want to try LSD.
A couple days ago (I think my last day of dexedrine) I actually had some daydream I couldn't control, and it was exciting. Sure, the actual daydream was very dark and scary. I felt real fear in my body, I felt like I could die. But it was so exciting and fascinating the whole time. Even if I had a bad trip on LSD, I'd probably love it anyway.
Also, on dexedrine I appear to be a decent artist despite not having drawn anything for over 6 years. because, guess what, I drew some sci-fi weapon at school, a teacher confiscated the one single drawing, and I Never Drew Another Thing Ever Again. Thanks teacher, for ruining 6 years I could've spent practicing art. I used to love to draw and I could've actually gotten good. Sometimes these things make me so angry.
> And the other "bad trip" trap of getting stuck in a mental loop is also ineffective against the ADHD brain's inability to filter out distractions
Being autistic makes it possible for parts of my brain to get stuck in a loop even if "I" am not. It causes huge panic attacks. But only if it's logically something to be worried about.
But I don't really think a bad trip will happen. I'm pretty ok in terms of being able to perceive and change parts of my mental state (that is an essential skill to control DID, you know). Logically, everything is fine right now. Plus I'm looking forward to the whole thing so I'm pretty sure I'll be okay~
> And then you can try combining it with ketamine for even more consciousness alteration :)
PFFT, maybe one day~