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Comment by DoreenMichele | Hacker News Reader

There's an old joke -- or perhaps humorous observation -- that men want to be the first person a woman sleeps with and women want to be the last person a man sleeps with.

Men tend to be looking for sex. Women tend to be looking for long-term relationships. Another similar observation: Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.

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I actually think its the complete opposite. Alot of nice looking well kept women just want sex

You are dreaming.

Or it just starts out that way. ;)

Biologically that makes no sense.

Having sex as a male basically has no consequences. Having sex as a woman can have huge consequences. Therefore, biologically the parent poster is correct.

Humans do not act on biological impulses and instincts alone, that's why your train of thought is not much aligned with reality.

Women rationally know that contraception pills exist and are effective, meaning the choice of getting pregnant is in their hands; (promiscuous) sex apparently has no consequences. This informs their actions.

That might be true. But at least what you describe is not my experience. All women I know want serious relationships, not one-night stands (Belgium). Maybe in your part of the world or generation that is different.

It does: women has always has dual mating strategy (find a sexy partner to have a baby with and a sucker who will take care of the baby...if she's lucky it's the same person, but quite often that's not the biologically optimal behavior).

But they will not admit to that, that's why thread neighbour amir734jj has his confused opinion.

Women will almost always express their desire to ride the carousel obscured with virtue signal wording such as "finding myself", "enjoying my freedom/the party scene", and the like.

I'm struggling to think of less accurate generalizations. Maybe that's the line that the old guard is trying to sell to society, but it is not being bought by new generations.

The dating -- or hookup -- scene seems to have changed a lot for younger people. I'm not young, but my primary point was that even in older, more conservative times there was some recognition of the fact that male and female strategies differ and women aren't typically looking for someone pure and untouched.

I've seen multiple comments here by men who seem surprised or something that women often don't care that they are seeing others. And I'm trying to say "It's really not that surprising and if you think about it for a minute, it's a well-known and long-standing pattern, really."

Love is the wrong word, it's unfortunately massively overloaded and culturally dependent to such an extent that there is very little chance of transporting meaning and understanding with it. I want to replace it with more accurate phrasing, rooted in human psychology.

A man gives commitment to get sex.

A woman gives sex to attain being provided for and protected.

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