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The incapacitating kind of pepper spray is treated as a Section 5 ‘Firearm’ in the UK, and would land you in a world of trouble.

You can get unpleasant smelling / badly staining / hard to remove spray which acts as a deterrent by making an attacker easily identifiable, but that’s about it I believe.

The only weapon you're allowed to carry in the UK is a disapproving look.

And everyone seems to carry that one

For which we are all heavily armed.

Look out George! The bastard's got a disparaging look! (*)

(*) Obscure Sweeny reference, if you get it, you're too old to be here Grandad

Do you mean the other way around? Pepper spray is illegal in the UK (https://www.gov.uk/guidance/import-controls-on-offensive-wea...) but its legal in all states in the US.