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Comment by spadros | Hacker News Reader

Articles like this make me incredibly depressed. It seems common place now to see blog posts written by women saying “woe is me, I’ve dated a crapton of men and get so much attention, but I can’t find the one”. If women become this entitled and vain from online dating, the dating pool is only going to stagnate more. If the author could practice some tolerance, empathy, gratitude, and non-judgement, I’m sure many of those 100+ men could have been great partners. As it is, I have no sympathy for her. Her stories make me nauseous.

What’s even worse is she’s been twice divorced and already has kids, but expects a perfect man in return. It’s hard to have empathy when she’s rejecting people based on Marvel movies and Starbucks.

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The whole time I was reading the article I was thinking of the hundreds of thousands of men on these apps who are not 6ft and above, who don't have PhDs, who do not drink 3rd wave coffee and are lucky to maybe get a couple of matches on the apps in a month.

This woman is suffocating in choice, while the armies of men who are not good enough for her would be happy to get 1/100th of the activity she's seeing. We really do live on different planets.

Yes me too. I’d guess that the average man on OLD sees more rejection in a month than the average woman will in her lifetime. It’s a tough dating world for the average straight man. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Maybe a potential remedy is for straight men to move back to predominantly hitting on people in real life in the hopes of finding a woman not on OLD. OLD is only making the straight women on their platforms more repugnant, and really doesn’t provide high quality or quantity for the average man.

When I used to be single I used both online dating and hitting on women.

It was so much easier in person because there would be no other person trying to do the same. Online I was competing with thousands of people.

It is just the reckoning happening man. Socially we taught at least gen x forward untruths about the life cycle of relationships. Turns out the religious monogamy for life guys got it more right for more people than the consumerist sex without consequence for all time crew over the whole life cycle, even though the consumerist is better for young women and better for successful men of most ages.

I really hate this quote: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”. Having said that, sex is a huge bonding element for those who won’t have sex outside of marriage. Everyone else misses out on that element, and are paying for it.

Yah, that quote is problematic because it's primarily reflecting the successful man's position when the problem is more broad. Unless you really screw up your choice and marry someone you fundamentally can't get along with once the smoldering sex burns down to embers and you are stuck coasting on talking to each other, the occasional bang, and potentially shared commitments to raising children, marriage almost certainly far outperforms consumerist sex without consequences across any individual's life cycle for the majority of individuals (at least from what I can see from my personal experience and the experience of the people in my peer group). I know so many young women that had a blast through their early 30's and now sound exactly like the writer of this article and I know a lot of men who are still struggling because they were average or slightly less than average levels of successful professionally as well as a minority of men who had it rough in their 20's but are having a blast in the 30's and 40's because they stayed single and did well professionally and now basically have their pick of the dating apps. I am an atheist but I can see the superiority of the outcome for most people of the religious monogamy with social consequences setup for most people from my dataset.

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