I'm always being called an assholeIf you are fair, then most people don't care if you are an asshole. Most people can tolerate a straightforward person so long and they are ethical and fair. If you embody other negative traits like deception or hypocrisy being an asshole will amplify them. History is full of examples of men that where not the most pleasant but are still respected for there adherence to ethics. In fact in some situations being an asshole is required to adhere to an ethical standard. For me personal I would take a deep internal look at why people have that perception, if it is due to negative attributes I would strive to correct them, if not I would not be overly concerned about them.
As for a first hire, it is always the most difficult, it's kind of like a hump once you get over it the next hire becomes easy. The easiest way to do it is to just commit to it in your mind as if it already happened, this will help you get past the sacrifice mentally. Then, look for people that have delivered, delivery is the most important factor for a small company and a employee that can deliver means more products / features to market or more servicing capacity. In which case the hire will pay for themselves.