I know and I understand the sentiment but there’s 30 years worth of infrastructure and content you have to deal with and I don’t see how you can work around that.

The early design of the web basically set it up as hyperlinked microfiche. What you're looking for was done later as torrents.

You're describing an index or a search machine. If every resource locator were content based, you'd have to wade through hundreds pages of SEO spam and vaguely relevant content before finding the one you were looking for, because your search terms would not match the (usually poor) description from the creator.