It's Okay to Say No

Thank you for posting this. It can be one of the harder lessons in life to learn.

I work in a job where you often want to say yes to people because they are in need, but because the resource they are wanting is scarce and there are strict rules and protocols I'm put in a position where I have to say no, or at best "I'll ask but the answer is probably 'no'".

If I say "yes" when I don't have the power to, that gets me in trouble.

Which is good. It's taught me a lot about looking at my own life and time and seeing those as scarce resources. Someone invites me to a party? I would have said yes in the past because I recognise it as inclusive and welcoming. Now it's a hard no (I have some stripe of social anxiety that makes actually attending a party a miserable affair).

The middle ground is, I think, is saying "yes but," and setting conditions. In programming and IT when someone asks me for help I will almost always say "yes", because I generally know a lot more than my colleauges, and I'm an information-wants-to-be-free open-source help-people kind of person. But I'll always try and combine it with learning so the person I help can pass it on, or at least not come back to me. Or I'll say, occasionally, "I'll help you after I've completed this task".