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Comment by seventhtiger | Hacker News Reader

You are somewhat close minded. Don't take this as a quick accusation of some -ism. I just get that you're not at all open to new experiences.

* You think you figured out people. But non of us have figured out people. Being open minded means at least trying to give any person a chance. You already have them divided into types and dismissed.

* You think to be friends you need people with the same hobbies and interests.

* You think your hobbies and interests are already set.

Whether your goal is to find a partner or to find friends, trying to figure out and decide about people in the privacy of your mind, then projecting that on the world will hamper your goals.

Humble yourself, assume you're wrong, and allow people to surprise you.

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> * You think to be friends you need people with the same hobbies and interests.

At least in that point there is some truth to it. What activities will you engage in with people, if you do not share hobbies or interests? Activities will be quite limited, unless you discover some shared interest or hobby. Maybe your shared interest will be once a week sitting in a café and talking about your job. As long as it is a shared interest, you got at least something to do with the other person.

Socialization in many countries around the world is still very much having strong bias for men and women roles and interests. Without high awareness of this, it is also very difficult for parents to do anything about this. Children are usually not 24/7 with their parents either. They spend a lot of time in other institutions like kindergarden and school, where they usually face a mainstream bias.

This means, that quite often there is a trend for men and women to also have different hobbies and interests. There is of course overlap in many areas, but not everywhere. It is slowly changing, but it will still take a long time. Just to give examples:

When I studied CS, only 10% were women. Looking at biology and psychology for example, we have almost the opposite situation.

I agree with everything you said. Of course everything you said is a description of the reasons that go into making it less common.

I disagree with the prescription that it shouldn't/couldn't. Saying something is unlikely is different to closing that door.

People and society are complex, and the long tail is really long. That's why being open minded and really giving the person in front of you some consideration is really important.

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