On the Guilt Associated with Leaving Your Job | Hacker News Reader

On the Guilt Associated with Leaving Your Job

2 pointsnhangen5 comments

I taught myself how to become a front-end developer while I was in the Army. I left the army in 2010, and started freelancing, where I got tired of dealing with low-budget clients and working from home. Serendipitously (or so I thought at the time), I found a position at the director level with a local agency, where I was able to make some immediate improvements to both operations and the bottom line, but eventually ran into a lot of resistance going any further. I also reached the point where I could no longer do all of the work on my own and we needed to reach out and hire people. It sounds great, but the assets at my disposal are simply not enough to make a compelling offer to applicants, thus I find myself in an ongoing battle with deadlines and the people that set them.

To make a long story short, I told my boss that I felt undervalued and that because of certain archaic processes, we were not as efficient and profitable as I thought we could become. Let's just say that the conversation didn't go my way.

So I find myself in a pickle. There are solvable problems that don't want to be solved, and I'm not getting paid enough to solve them. However, I'm not the kind to just take a paycheck and call it a day (like many of you I imagine).

The only way I can improve my situation is by leaving my job, which I plan on doing. The problem is that I feel guilty about it, almost like I'm giving up or not doing all I could to resolve these conflicts. The boss has a 5 year plan, but I'm not keen on waiting 5 years...I don't have the time.

My question to you is whether any of you have been in similar situations, and if so, what action did you take? Did you regret moving on, or did you regret staying too long?

Of course, I'm building on the side, but the projects aren't making quite enough money yet for me to outright quit. Very close though.

Thoughts are welcome.

I don't understand the problem. Why do you feel guilty?

People move on all the time in response to not being able to agree on how to proceed with a business plan, that's OK. Every job is a stepping stone. You don't owe your employer anything other than a hard day's work in exchange for a paycheck.

If anything, you may have displayed too many of your cards by indicating profound dissatisfaction. He likely suspects you're going to leave. You would have been in a better position if you had quietly started searching for a new gig with the intent of giving 2 weeks notice upon landing it.

I have donated huge amounts of my time (6+ weeks notice w/ long nights and weekends) to ensure a "smooth transition"-- and had nothing to show for it as the company went out of business a few months later. I regret this in retrospect. This was a sinking ship that could have taken me down with it. All that effort amounted to pointless "re-arranging of deck chairs."

I've also given 1 week notice because I had carefully prepared in advance and closed all loose ends before making the leap-- and as a result enjoyed a much-needed 3 week vacation between jobs. Amazingly, the employer appreciated the fact that I was proactive enough to handle the situation so I would not _need_ more than 1 week.

I've wondered that myself. I think the guilt is derived not from leaving them high and dry, but in leaving unsolved problems. I'm competitive and a perfectionist, and I take it as a personal challenge to solve them.

"My question to you is whether any of you have been in similar situations, and if so, what action did you take? Did you regret moving on, or did you regret staying too long?"

I was in this situation. I hated where I worked, nobody wanted to listen to me, and I felt undervalued. I was smack-dab in the middle of a version 2.0 that was supposed to be released in a couple of months.

I left and it was the best thing I ever did. I have no regrets. On a side note, 10% of the staff was laid off less than 4 months later. Since it was based on seniority, I surely would have been cut.

I moved to another city and started a completely new part of my life.

You need to look out for yourself. Your feelings will only grow worse because it's obvious your boss doesn't want to change. Hearing these "plans" multiple times, your boss is most likely stringing you along to appease your unhappiness.

My last company did this too. Bad times were on the horizon in 2009. I gave them a great plan of action for marketing. They wouldn't allow me to execute it. Over a year later, they then wanted my input because they were going to go out of business. When the plan didn't bring them immediate revenue, they stopped it. I was then let go because they couldn't "afford to pay me" anymore.

This is why I vowed not to work for anyone again.

Most companies owners don't feel the same about you. They would replace you in a second if they could.

Loyalty to one's comrades in the military can be a matter of life and death and thus is important.

Your boss's five year plan may be sensible, but you have outgrown the position into which you were hired.

It was probably likely to be transitional from the beginning regardless.

Life is short, you can't control other people's motivations or beliefs. Don't feel guilty, maybe you will go on to solve more important problems.

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